Sleepless Night

I cant sleep at all right now, maybe because the coffee I drink or maybe because I just have too many things in my mind, anyway since I cant get some sleep I may as well open my laptop, after almost 1 hour surf the internet (and no, I didnt watch porn), I start open my blog and I feel like writing something, but unfortunately I dont know what the hell I want to write so I just sit there in front of my laptop and staring at the screen, take me 30 minutes to realize "hey what the heck, no one gonna read it anyway", so I am just gonna write everything that is in my head and what it is in my head? you ask?, well, I was thinking about some stuff, but before I get to that I am gonna tell you who I am and what kind a guy I think I am..

My name is Yudha and I am a carefree boy with no self esteem, I like hang out with my friends (yes I do have friends), I like to watch movies, especially the one that have a really good and complex story in it, I like listening to the music, I like anime, I like to read mangas, and lots of other stuff, so you could say that, I am a pretty normal boy, and as normal boy or any other normal human being, I have the good and the bad, and since I cant remember the good I will talk about the bad, lets start with my hobby, well i dont know if this is can even be consider as hobby but unfortunately this is just the things often i do beside sleeping, so this thing i often do is daydreaming, i dont know why it happen, maybe its because my active imagination, what I know is that I imagine a lot of stuff, from object to subject, regardless is big or even small, whenever I have chance, whenever i have time, I created my own world where things happen so fast yet so cool, all that happen is awesome and yet so lame, whenever I think about it afterward, one thing is certain that when I am daydreaming everything is feels just right, like my own personal drug, pure yet surreal..

and because of that I become a sore loser who can only fantasize about the thing that I thought I can do in real life, but when the time comes to do those thing, I was too afraid to do it and I just stay there in silent, this is what I actually thinking about before I write this post, what if i will stuck to be somebody like this forever, well, that is what bothering me a bit, ever since I move in to this new city.

Everything in here is not so bad, I meet some new friends, lots of them remind me about friends in my hometown, oh yeah, my friends always make a joke about me being single and stuff like that, no matter where, this joke seems to be the no 1 topic for me. and I dont really mind actually, cuz most of them are true, I never had any girlfriend nor do I intend to find any, not because I am gay or anything, it just that every girls that close to me whether I like them or not, they gonna be fun joke for my friends, and truly I dont mind, but what I dont like is when the persons that close to me is making fun as well, I mean really, any girl that my friends know that close to me less than a meter for more than 10 minute will cause something, life lesson from me. "DONT BE FRIENDLY!" lol just kidding, the real life lesson I got is to find a girl that none of your friends know, that way you never even have to worry. hahaha.. look at me here talking about girls when I dont even have any, well, for 18 years of my life, I can tell you that there are a lot of girls that attract my eyes, few of them attract my mind, but so little, that attract my heart...

and for the girl that attract my heart, sorry i cant be brave enough to do what most guy do, even though running away and disappear is not my style, all i can say is that I'll try to get better, and when I can finally become a better person, I will keep my promise that I will tell you something, hopefully you will still like me..


FUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Reading it back all that stuff I talk about earlier makes me feel weird, i mean look at it, there are a lot of weird and unbelievable stuff in there, and some cheesy line as well.but hey what the heck, no one gonna read this beside me anyway, and that's why is so easy to write all this stuff in the first place. anyway, I think its time for me to try to get some sleep again..

Good Night to me, and Sweet nightmare to you...

Posted in: Moody